Losing The Plot

Welcome back, insomnia
Ushered back into silence
Only when everyone else is sleeping
And 'cause the city is sleeping
No one ruthless is rushing
To get to the front of the line as usual

'Cause I am losing the plot
I am grieving the end of superwoman-ing
I have laid down my cape
As though I haven’t risen like a phoenix
From a thousand deaths
As though I have not been reborn
To notice that my mission is not dead yet

I’m exhausted, Midas
Reigniting a hunger that typically fuels those of us
To searching for something outside ourselves
'Cause the city bears violence
And everybody is rushing to stop at the podium
And thank the ones who loved
And exploited well

I am losing the plot
I am grieving the end of superwoman-ing
I have laid down my cape
As though I haven’t risen like a phoenix
From a thousand deaths
As though I have not been reborn
To notice that my mission is not dead yet

The light at the end of the tunnel
The one I’ve always prayed for
Is a train at a hundred miles per hour

And it promises to break my bones
If I don’t stand still
Rip my heart out, ambition mill or bust
With my relevance in dust

I am losing the plot
I am grieving the end of superwoman-ing
I have laid down my cape
As though I haven’t risen like a phoenix
From a thousand deaths
As though I have’t been reborn
To notice that my mission is not dead yet

As though this fame and pressure
Has not dimmed the lights around my head
As though my heart has not kept
All my cynicism under the mattress

And I can’t keep it up
Though the fire is not outed
I am losing the plot